"fuck you for a second"

"Lol huh? Suck my wang while I get the best sword in the game? Lol"

"an employee who can't work because of the most important week tour of their lives is not gonna show up on their give a fuck radar. If when they started their company they could have turned around copies of mein kampf for toddlers faster than guitars they would currently be third reich childrens center, not guitar center, and inside their, not unlike guitar center, disneylandesque-excess-decadence universe would include the build-a-gestapo ss jew rape white power headquarters. and thats probably less evil than they are now."

"the only way i could have fun in baltimore for 9hrs is if i spent it at hooters"

"i said it so nicely you thought i was trying to be a dick"

"new year's resolution: no girls. january 2nd: ass vision"

"don't shred on me"